2025.03.05 - 2nd Couple's Therapy Session

[next-mdx-remote-client] error compiling MDX: Expected a closing tag for `<br>` (34:384-34:388) before the end of `tableData` 32 | | | **Stay Together** | **Split Up** | 33 | | ------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | > 34 | | *Nicko* | I will need to figure out how to "love correctly," in a secure way. <br><br>I will need to learn to accept a lot about Sam that I am currently having great difficulty accepting. <br><br>I am uncomfortable with intimacy, this a telltale sign of an Avoidant attachment style. <br><br>Somehow I will have to learn how to support Sam in the way she needs to be supported.<br><br>I'm planning on getting into individual therapy either way (stay together or split), but I think when I tell this to Sam, she has a much different picture of what she thinks I "need to work on." | Either way, I'm planning on getting into individual therapy. I think my relationship with intimacy is more complicated than I realized, and I need some professional help working through that.<br><br>School is my top priority, above all else. I've talked about this before with Sam and people close to me, but I don't know that I've ever expressed the gravity of this notion, and how it weighs on me.<br><br>For all my life, I've been searching for an *Answer* of sorts. An *answer* to a *question* that I haven't even fully formed yet, I haven't learned enough yet to be able to ask the right question. It's got something to do with the brain, and intelligence and consciousness, but also technology and computers. Given today's current landscape, I think it's the **perfect** time to be working on this problem.<br><br>The hard problem of consciousness:<br><br>```cardlink<br>url: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_problem_of_consciousness<br>title: "Hard problem of consciousness - Wikipedia"<br>host: en.wikipedia.org<br>favicon: https://en.wikipedia.org/static/favicon/wikipedia.ico<br>image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/David_Chalmers%2C_delivering_a_talk_at_De_La_Salle_University-Manila%2C_March_27%2C_2012.jpg<br>```<br><br>I try to maintain realistic expectations. I don't think I'm going to single-handedly change the world. It's more akin to this illustration:<br>![[Pasted image 20250309182706.webp]]<br><br>```cardlink<br>url: https://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/<br>title: "The illustrated guide to a Ph.D."<br>host: matt.might.net<br>```<br><br>I just want to contribute, in some way. It is of dire importance to me. And I don't mean to be dramatic, but I would burn my entire life to the ground if it meant I could achieve this goal. I would die satisfied with a job well done...<br><br>🏠 I would probably live with Taylor and Aaron until they got sick of me.<br><br>A romantic relationship is not very high on my priority list, and won't be for a while. I don't think I'll ever get married again.<br><br>True to my avoidant attachment style, my life will very likely be very sad, and very lonely. I will either have to learn how to live with this, or learn how to live differently so that it's not. | | ^ 35 | | *Sam* | [[2025.02.24 - The Calm After the Storm]]<br><br>I don't even know where to start. Is it even my place to say what Sam needs to do, if we were to stay together? It feels unfair, like I'm setting "requirements." But... these are just things that I can't reconcile, and won't be able to move forward until I do. <br><br>So, I'm just going to speak plainly.<br><br>What I need from her is:<br>**Forgiveness** - There's a whole "part 2" to the notion that I think Sam needs to learn how to forgive her mom in a big way, a way that she never has before. Let me be clear, I don't really give a shit about her mom. It's not for Jess's sake. I have my own motives. I think if she can get over that hurdle, then she can begin working on the next part, the part I actually care about. <br><br>At first I thought I needed her to apologize to Taylor and Aaron for [[2025.02.04 - The Fight 🥊]]. I don't think that's quite it. What I really need is for her to **forgive** Taylor. For everything. The botched friendship attempts, or lack thereof, her maid-of-honor efforts that left you wanting, all of it. But she won't, because she feels that she's been wronged by her.<br><br>And then Aaron...<br><br>I've been spending a lot of time with Taylor and Aaron recently. Sam is dead wrong about them, completely. I can't reconcile in the way she feels she needs me to. Her assumptions about them, and conclusions she's drawn, are completely unfounded, and I can't see it any other way.<br> | I can't really speak to what Sam will do or what she'll need if we Split Up. I don't wish any ill will. I hope she finds a lot of support from her friends and family. She's gonna have to come to terms that it can't come from my family anymore. I.e. my mom...<br><br>It's very important for Sam to be a mother. She may need to find someone who, for them, it's equally as important to be a father... | 36 | More information: https://mdxjs.com/docs/troubleshooting-mdx